Found Healing: My "Why"

It’s hard for me to reflect and look back on the reason why i started going to reiki sessions in the first place. Though in actual time it was only a few years ago, it feels like it could have been centuries ago. Or like it just happened yesterday.

Time is funny like that.

We grasp to it, trying to render control over it with the same ferocity that makes us think we can change the wind to breeze and the rain to sunshine. I know I can’t change the weather, but I’ll be darned if i don’t give it a good college try.

Furthermore, I don't like thinking about death. Never have, never will. I like thinking about birth and purpose. Fertility and growth. Not so fortunately for the avoidant in me, is the fact that we need sadness to feel joy. And sometimes endings make us just desperate enough to begin again.

Two years ago, my dad died. Nine months after that the man I had been in a romantic relationship died as well. Suddenly, it was as if none of my avoidance to death made any sense. Neither did my avoidance to life. And so I found myself lost. A loss that would, eventually without my consent, help me to be found. I just didn’t know it yet.

Truthfully, I was afraid to write about this, but not as afraid as I knew I would be if I didn’t say a thing. You see, the name Found Healing speaks to the part in all of us that yearns for a light on the darkest of days, in the most hopeless moments.

My purpose; my mission? If I can help one person feel held like I've been held in reiki sessions, I'll be honoring my loss in a way I didn’t know possible.

So if you’re grieving, whether it be a death of a loved one, or a death of a part of you, first and foremost please know that you are not alone. Your emotions matter. this darkness matters. And I hope I can in some way, somehow help you remember who you are. Please let me help you be Found.